Рекомендации для Дарта Вейдера: консультант McKinsey помогает Империи нанести ответный удар
Империя из "Звездных Войн" - мощное государство, которое во многом похоже на совсем не фантастическую международную корпорацию. И, как у любой земной компании, у Империи есть ряд проблем и бизнес-задач, которые придется решить, чтобы не сдать позиций бодрым стартаперам (ну или повстанцам). Бывший консультант McKinsey Пол Мэйнвуд прикинул, как началась бы работа над консалтинговым проектом для Галактической Империи. Публикуем его забавное письмо с руководством для младших коллег.
I'm hearing great stuff about the engagement so far! Grand Moff Tarkin was very complimentary about the first workshop, and I think Lord Vader was keen too (though I couldn't hear much on the conference call: a lot of breathing on the line, so do please mute when you're not speaking). While I remember, let's drop the icebreaker exercise next time: using the Force on the "two truths and a lie" game made it no fun for anyone.
I don't have that much time to input as I'm on a flight to Kashyyyk for another project (super-excited: there's a big CPG client wanting to work through the opportunity for medicated Wookie shampoo). So here's a brief dot dash storyline to get working on:
- The market for galactic domination is large and expanding. [insert Marrimekko and long-term trend charts here; make sure it goes back to at least the Republic, though I know the data here can be a bit patchy]
- The Empire is in a healthy position (as you know, avoid the words "dominant" or "commanding") with % (please check) of the galaxy crushed under the Emperor's mighty heel [If room here, let's give a bit of an outline of the main reasons]
- Star destroyers
- Super Star destroyers
- Imperial Walkers (the 4 legged versions, let's just avoid mentioning the 2 legged ones after that Endor field trial)
- However, the emerging Rebellion [do they call them Rebel scum? Let's use their language...] are growing fast, and have an enticing brand that could in time pull some of the medium sized star systems over from the glorious subjugation to the Emperor
- [Charts on brand measures: Imperium vs Alliance - penetration, awareness, brand love, brand fear]
- [Several slides on attractions of Rebellion: e.g., freedom to wear cool leather trousers rather than dress as a Nazi, have guns that shoot straight, lower chance of being summarily executed by senior commanders because they're in a bad mood -- perhaps spider charts or sliders?]
Fix the basics - Quick wins:
- Fit shields to TIE fighters. Cost-benefit analysis shows that having a ship that can take more than one hit outweighs the costs within 1 hour of combat [show that benchmark: TIE Fighter vs Millennium Falcon: did it get >200 hits without exploding?]
- Offer free eye tests to all stormtroopers equipped with blasters
- Leverage fear of Emperor/Vader: studies of project plans show that they have a powerful effect on timelines -- let's work out how to scale this!
- Focus on core competences: Divert funds to the fast, flexible Imperial fleet of Star Destroyers, and away from large untested vanity projects (e.g., a) Death stars b) Bigger Death stars c) Really, really big death stars that suck in the sun). At the moment, these Death star projects have a mean active life of around a week, leading to a heavily NPV negative outlook, even assuming the advantages of slave labour and creative financing.
- Revitalise leadership with talent from the wider pool: Though the Galactic population is made up of a rich cross-section of humanoid and not even vaguely humanoid creatures, the officer class of the Empire is dominated by humans who appear (judging by their accents) to have been educated exclusively at Oxford or Cambridge. This lack of diversity could result to group-think, may project an exclusive image to the galactic population at large, and could lead to senior officers hosting port and cheese parties when they should be directing attacks on ice planets.
- If these points are successfully addressed, we project growth of [y%] per year, genocide rates rising to [z%], and total galactic control [run this past the lawyers] in [x] years, with a strong future for the Imperial brand
That's it team, hope it's helpful! Let's be super end-product-focused, impact oriented and not boil the ocean, and we might get out of this without having ourselves and head office disintegrated.
Boba Fett PhD
Deep Impact Associates
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